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[AD] Nightrest Plus

by The Shopping Network
Chapter 2
Folks, pull your chair a little closer to the screen,
turn the volume down just enough to feel responsible,
because tonight The Shopping Network is pleased, concerned,
and legally unclear
to present a solution that insists it is not a question.

Tonight’s special: Nightrest Plus.

A small white tablet.
Unassuming.
Approved by someone’s clipboard.
Designed for people who lay awake wondering
why the dark seems so attentive.

Take one with water.
Take two if the room won’t stop listening.
Within minutes, thoughts lose their sharp edges.
Memories loosen their grip.
Dreams learn to behave themselves
and stay where they belong.

Nightrest Plus is perfect for
roadside motels,
guest bedrooms,
and homes where sleep feels more like an interview.
It does not promise rest.
It promises absence.

Now, customers should be aware of documented side effects,
as required by several agencies
that no longer return our calls:

✦ Temporal Skipping:
Waking up convinced you slept through the night,
only to discover the clock disagrees.
This is normal.
The clock is unreliable.

✦ Dream Suppression:
A reduction in vivid imagery,
including forests that shouldn’t exist,
faces that refuse to stay intact,
and conversations you don’t remember starting.
Some users report dreams knocking anyway.
Do not answer.

✦ Residual Compliance:
A mild but persistent sense
that everything is fine now,
even when it clearly isn’t.
Often described as “a relief.”

Symptoms may fade by morning
or linger quietly for weeks,
expressing themselves as headaches,
lost time,
or the comforting belief
that nothing important happened.

But let’s talk benefits.
Nightrest Plus dissolves slowly,
coating the mind with just enough quiet
to sleep through distant footsteps,
murmured names,
and the feeling that something has taken a seat nearby.

Available in discreet packaging.
No branding.
No instructions worth rereading.
Easy to explain away as stress.

To order, dial the number hovering at the bottom of your screen.
If the line goes silent, stay connected.
If you hear breathing that matches your own,
you’re almost there.

Tune in next hour
when we unveil a customer favorite:
The Bleeding Clock
that only ticks off
when you’re finally somewhere safe.