[AD] The Black Compass

by The Shopping Network

Chapter 1

[ — recovering signal — ]
Good evening.
Are you tired of your loved one lying to you?
Are you tired of never knowing if you’re being lied to?
Do you wish you could know for certain that you heard a lie?
Do you tell lies yourself?
Well, suffer no longer from deceit!
Put a piece of the heavens
On your compass for directions!
Introducing, The Black Compass,
Forged in the finest Star-Glass of the Palouse!
With a premium case and a crystalline needle,
The directions told are the truths you lose!
Near a lie, the needle begins to fly.
Silent spin, maybe try again.
Pointing West, maybe it’s for the best.
Claim yours today for only $9.99!
(Excluding shipping and handling, because we don’t lie!)